I'm currently sitting in my senior carrel (no, unfortunately it doesn't involve Christmas singing) with a case of writers block. Not about blogging, since I'm sitting here typing this up and it's been months since my last post, but about my senior paper. I am at a loss for words, trying to write about the relationship of human trafficking and prostitution, then moving on to how one's identity is changed by a loss of sexuality.
I have it all in my head.
I know exactly what I want to say, exactly how I want to put it, and exactly what each section should focus on. Yet for the life of me I cannot seem to type it out. Every time I go to write, my fingers won't budge. I feel overwhelmed with the amount of knowledge I know about prostitution, probably more than any one person wants to know.
I have it all in my head.
I know exactly what I want to say, exactly how I want to put it, and exactly what each section should focus on. Yet for the life of me I cannot seem to type it out. Every time I go to write, my fingers won't budge. I feel overwhelmed with the amount of knowledge I know about prostitution, probably more than any one person wants to know.
I could talk about sex trafficking and it's relations with prostitution for days. I could talk about how sexuality is so much more than sex, it's part of our identity that God gave us. I could talk about how there's more to those who "choose" prostitution. I just can't write about it.
It's challenging to write about something that you're so passionate about when you can't give any personal input. You have to write it objectively, like you don't have a care in the world. That's challenging when there are more than 20 million slaves around the world and that prostitution makes up 46% of human trafficking.
(It's also interesting that when I misspell "prostitution" that Word doesn't give me a suggested real word. Maybe that relates to how many don't see prostitutes as real people. But that's probably me way over-analyzing this)
My presentation is in six days and I am so not ready. The anxiety of a 30 minute presentation on this matter to a bunch of underclassmen (as well as my somewhat stern professor) is sinking in, and I don't like it one bit. I am terrified of stuttering or saying "um" way too much, or maybe just passing out. All I want is to share my heart. I honestly don't care about the psychological aspect or any other form of data. I want them to leave my presentation saying "Dang. I had no idea."
But honestly, it's a constant reminder that I'm not Jesus. I can't make an impact on them or change their view about prostitutes or sexuality. I can only speak about what I know and pray that God does something more with it.
Whenever I look up from my computer and I'm sitting in this exact seat, my eyes immediately see two things:
1. A picture that says "He heals the broken hearted". It's a constant reminder that God heals the broken, I cannot. God heals and restores all of those who are weary and shattered.
2. Lyrics from the song "Wonder (Spontaneous)" by Bethel Music. The lyrics are "May we never lose our wonder. Wide eyed and mystified, may we be just like a child, staring at the beauty of our King. Cause You are beautiful in all Your ways." Or just listen to the song here. It will do wonders for you (see what I did?). These lyrics invite me to never lose sight of God's glorious works, even trough all of the bad going on today.
As I continue through this journey of writing this paper, I pray that God continues to use my fingers to type out what He wants me to give out to others. I do ask for prayer, as it is challenging to write such a daunting paper with a difficult subject. Thank you to everyone who has continued to support and pray for me.
Peace and blessings.
It's challenging to write about something that you're so passionate about when you can't give any personal input. You have to write it objectively, like you don't have a care in the world. That's challenging when there are more than 20 million slaves around the world and that prostitution makes up 46% of human trafficking.
(It's also interesting that when I misspell "prostitution" that Word doesn't give me a suggested real word. Maybe that relates to how many don't see prostitutes as real people. But that's probably me way over-analyzing this)
My presentation is in six days and I am so not ready. The anxiety of a 30 minute presentation on this matter to a bunch of underclassmen (as well as my somewhat stern professor) is sinking in, and I don't like it one bit. I am terrified of stuttering or saying "um" way too much, or maybe just passing out. All I want is to share my heart. I honestly don't care about the psychological aspect or any other form of data. I want them to leave my presentation saying "Dang. I had no idea."
But honestly, it's a constant reminder that I'm not Jesus. I can't make an impact on them or change their view about prostitutes or sexuality. I can only speak about what I know and pray that God does something more with it.
Whenever I look up from my computer and I'm sitting in this exact seat, my eyes immediately see two things:
1. A picture that says "He heals the broken hearted". It's a constant reminder that God heals the broken, I cannot. God heals and restores all of those who are weary and shattered.
2. Lyrics from the song "Wonder (Spontaneous)" by Bethel Music. The lyrics are "May we never lose our wonder. Wide eyed and mystified, may we be just like a child, staring at the beauty of our King. Cause You are beautiful in all Your ways." Or just listen to the song here. It will do wonders for you (see what I did?). These lyrics invite me to never lose sight of God's glorious works, even trough all of the bad going on today.
As I continue through this journey of writing this paper, I pray that God continues to use my fingers to type out what He wants me to give out to others. I do ask for prayer, as it is challenging to write such a daunting paper with a difficult subject. Thank you to everyone who has continued to support and pray for me.
Peace and blessings.